The sweet smell of... failure?

Plans rarely go, well, as planned.  The longer I am alive the more I am forced to accept that very little is truly in my control, and that isn't really a pessimistic viewpoint, because to me, how I react to things is just as, if not more, important than the circumstances in which I am placed.  We all dream; I am confident that even the most cynical person you know is secretly full of hopes and dreams, and on the surface these dreams are about silly, inconsequential things: where we will live, who we will love, where we will work, but beneath those petty details lie fundamental needs, and in the end, it is those needs we must satisfy.  I had hoped and dreamed and even at moments (and those of you who know me know the desperation this signals) prayed that things would work out in Barcelona.  I tried; I really did, but there simply weren't jobs available, not even for many of my friends who could work legally in Spain, and as much of an idealist as I am; I also have a pragmatic side, and it is this side which made the decision to return to the states.  This was a difficult, excruciating decision, and every moment I miss the fantastic people who I met in Barcelona, but I have returned, not the prodigal son, but the accomplished student, having learned much, and experienced much more.  I do not regret a single decision I have made thus far, and I don't anticipate regret for any upcoming decision, some of which are perhaps as formidable as a move overseas.  I believe that right now, what will serve my needs best is to serve the needs of others.  I have applied to Americorps, and intend to complete a year of volunteer work with them.  This will provide money for my future education, satisfy my desire to help those in need, and hopefully, improve my linguistic skills even further.  I am in a difficult period in my life, a period where nothing makes complete sense, and even the most sane things seem crazy.  If for some reason you believe this to be a bad idea, I encourage you with all my heart to put forth your suggestion, or comment, or whatever it is you think.  I certainly don't promise to drop my plans and bow to your will, but you are reading this because I care about you, because I value your opinion, and I will undoubtedly take any comments I receive into consideration as I contemplate my future.  As tumultuous a time as this is in my life, I am content, even happy perhaps, and have never felt so capable, but again, it wouldn't be the first time I had been misled by an overzealous necessity to feel independent, despite the mountain of evidence suggesting I am anything but.  I love you all, and I hope to hear from you, and, if the chance arises, see you all, before I move on to my next great adventure...